Stupid Sports Fan

VIVA WHO?

Patrick clearly doesn’t know when it’s Euro Cup time, or World Cup time. Or any time. He actually lives under a rock.

Forza España! Sorry, I meant Vive Le Deutschland! No. Sorry, Go Azzurri! Damn I’m confused, and you might be too, so here’s a clue: Soccer. Now, unless you live under a rock (and if you do, how do you get internet? That’s amazing), you have probably realized its Euro Cup season. Now if you don’t follow soccer, bear with me, this post is not solely about soccer. If you are a soccer fan, yes this post will have soccer.

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Tales from My Trip to the ER

AND IN THIS CORNER…. TOILET!

Rule # 1: Everyone is Stupid.                     Rule # 2: Everyone is Stupid. In case you missed the memo (yes, there were memos), Everyone, includes you and me. And I think it’s time that I make that absolutely clear. I’m just as stupid as everyone else, and I know it. I admit, it’s not as catchy as LMFAO’s song, but still, I’m stupid and I know it. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

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Snooki is a Role Model

QU’EST–CE QUE FUCK?

Dawson was beside me when Snooki was called a role model. I wish I could tell you this was his reaction, but that’s how his face always is.

You read the title correctly. Yeah, a real, live, human being once called Snooki a role model. And I lost all faith in humanity. And then I started to cry.

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The No Baby Zone

AVENGE THE MOVIE THEATRE!

I recently went to go see The Avengers in theatres. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop. Go watch it, and then come back. You’re missing out on ample fun times. There are explosions, humour, superhero-comic-book-stuff, Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson eye candy, Robert Downey Jr. being awesome, and Samuel L. Jackson being Samuel L. Jackson. Actually it’s kind of like this:

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Nobody cares about the Government because they all have Daddy-Issues

 THAT TITLE MAY NEED CONTEXT

If the title confuses you, I’m sorry, it will only make sense if you read until the end. Now, posted below is a lovely conversation I overheard behind me while on the subway the other day. For those of you who live in Canada, or more specifically Toronto, this news might be of interest to you. Last week a judge decided that the good people of the Etobicoke Centre riding needed to go to a by-election. If you don’t know what a by-election is, click here, learn, and come back I’m too lazy to explain. If you’re interested about this particular by-election (and if you’re Canadian you should be) click here. If you just want to be filled with mindless opinions, stay where you are and fasten your seatbelt.

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Does Your Relationship have a Fire-Breathing Dragon?

A BRIEF STORY

Once upon a time the bravest knight in the kingdom saved the most beautiful princess by slaying a fire-breathing dragon. He proposed. She said yes. They lived happily ever after. For five minutes. Then the dragon came back and ate everyone.

The End.

Yes, the picture is from “The Paper Bag Princess” by Robert Munsch. But isn’t it so appropriate? If you don’t think so, you haven’t read the book, and you should.

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